Wednesday, March 7, 2012

more than 100,000,000,000 + ways to look at this.

100,000,000,000 : the number of neurons in my brain.

Even more spellbinding : "The number of combinations [between neurons] possible--and hence the number of possible different thoughts or brain states each of us can have--exceeds the number of known particles in the entire known universe."  Limitless mental possibilities.

So why do 95% of these synapses remain inert and unused?  The acrid ones--the ones I hate (Romans 7) and the ones that break my spirit--these, these fire and burn continually.  At night, they could dispel the darkness for miles.  The thoughts become reality and then REALITY; and I am left to believe we are always the product of our choices.

Which is so very easy to say.  But the truth is, choices begin as thoughts and thoughts begin in the will and (here's the problem) the will is the corruption in the system. 

The light is awakening : grace and crucifixion and honesty without agenda creates a new will.  This is a will that both breaks and sustains me and frees me to begin, awkwardly and painfully, to
think new thoughts.

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